Waking up with you Once Again
A Simple pleasure Shared by so many
But refrained by you So Often.
This Simple kind of night
Rarely Spent between You and I
It felt almost sacrad
And We didn't even fuck ...
I came over prepared to stay the Night with you.
(Ever)Waiting, hoping for an Invitation,
Nevercoming, I told you I would like to Stay.
You Sounded excited and even Glad that I did.
**** How can I have existed with You in and out
Of my life for nearly 6 years and Never known
How to read you?
******** Because You never let me Truly know you
Your Walls so High,
Your Walls so Thick -- At times, Inpenetratable --
That, Now Looking Back, you appeared
As an empty shell.
**** But to be Near you, in the Quiet,
When you couldn't be still ...
It was obvious that you were the Opposite of Empty ...
You were always too Full -- Top Heavy with a Head
Full of Worry and Fear
Your Heart Full of Pain, guilt and Fog ...
******** Maybe my insecurities weren't really
From your rejection.
Perhaps they were originated from a Longing
To tap those Vital organs and Release you
As you had released Me,
And realizing, in the End, that I could not.
**** The only One strong enough to do That
-- As it should be in Every Life --
Was You.
And so it was on this Last Morning in your home,
Alone with the dogs;
You already at work ...
I needed to Charge my phone.
You always told me that your house was mine, that you Held no Secrets,
That I knew you Better than Anyone ...
Not Finding the Right Cord in all the Usual places,
I finally Looked in your bedside drawer,
And there it was.
The preverbial Straw over this Thirsting Camel's back ...
An Empty Condom Wrapper
It took a Long moment to Process what it was
And what it Meant
And only a Second to be So Done
That it was Value-Less to bring it up to question you.
The next 2 Days were filled with Pitiful sadness and Longing.
And then I Never saw you again.
(C)2014jsblankenship
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