It's All on Me

I did this.
I did. 
Not you,
And certainly, not you.


This one's all on me.
And this, I handled very poorly.


A poor steward to the Love
With which I'd been blessed.


From the Beginning,
A bad Steward.


By Secret-ing you Away
From my Family.


By minimizing,
distracting,
Pulling away and tiny lies
about myself
That caused me to be less than
I really was.


When someone is not being themselves
when they are not Authentic
in Most Corners of the their life,
It becomes Easy to dismiss
Your promises.


I did this thing
Every step of the way.
I am responsible for the Pain
Inflicted.
My Anger at You
is senseless;
As you don't even exist anymore,
So many yous fly past our doors,
I'm not sure you ever did.


I am finally learning to live,
with what my actions have left at my feet
Dealing with the Anger I still have
for Myself is my Days' work, for now.


For I was Better than that. Better than you in that 
Area of Life and Love.
I knew better and had experienced Better.
I was charged with a greater Responsibility than you.


So I am responsible for being Weak enough
To be Fooled by your Grasping
at someone else's life;
Collecting Souls from which
To choose from
When playing Emotional Dress-Up.


Well, I Was grown up,
I lost my Way and you Certainly
Were Not my Answer, and I was never yours.


In fact, No One ever is.


I'll deal, I'll work it out.
I'll learn to Forgive Myself,
so that I'm truly free to truly Love again, 
As You subtly drift off into Space ....


And I'll make It Worth It
in the End, even though, It wasn't.


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