Purging, Cleaving and Longing

Yesterday,

After the Yesterday before It,

I was pulled to go Somewhere

Somewhere I didn't really want to go to

But where I was feeling a compelling Call to go.

The half-Dread, half-Crave of what I thought I would find there

Wasn't There.

Neither one of them.

But as I was Just settling into --

What I have always done Best;

Been Alone and Comfortable in a Crowd --

Reading and Writing,

There She Was:

'Are you Finished with These?'

Just cleaning up...

Trying to Keep Order (of the Bookstore)

'Oh I Love your Necklaces!'

(Never before had I worn my Cross & my FAITH necklaces together -- again, pulled to)

'I love Typography art,

I'm going to make Something like that, that reads:

"To Thine Own Self Be True"

Mother .....

.......................................

I didn't cry.

I smiled,

And felt Safe and at Home,

Loved.

Guided.

And no Longer Alone

nor Without Purpose.

Bless your Soul, Jessie...

You never accomplished your self-stated goal:

'To work myself out of a job'

.......................................

Yesterday's Yesterday:

A Horrible Purging --

Like a Hurricane Purges

Out the Land --

I Cleansed Out What I had Allowed

To Clutter up My Head.

I'm not Proud of it

It's not Pretty.

It's, I'm sure

Scary and Enraging

For other to See.

It doesn't Happen Often

But It is Always 

Simply an Overload of 

Too Many Bad Thoughts

or Frustrations Built Up

It CanNot be Taken Personally ....

Cleaving;

"To Remain, Faithfully" ......

That is what I do today

And it is What I choose to do

From Now on .... 

Out of Love.

That is Why it is Not

Clinging;

"To Hold Tight or to remain attached".

Longing;

To Hold Her Against my Heart, Once More....